I was out to dinner with a group of friends not long ago. Most were married, but there were a few singles. The topic of married sex came up somehow. The curious singles drove the conversation. How many times per week? How many times per month? They’d heard of married couples not having sex and couldn’t imagine it. In fact, they couldn’t imagine doing anything less than once a day. Every married person laughed. The questions continued. I knew what they were after. Because each married person at the table had a strong marriage, they felt we were a good barometer for what was “normal,” perhaps “healthy.”
I realized we were all thinking the same thing as we looked at each other, wondering who was going to answer them. There was apprehension about disclosing for fear that other couples had more sex and were happier. Perhaps your sex life is a problem, and we should have it more frequently. It’s not as common as it once was. Maybe that means our marriage is in trouble. Finally, I decided to say what I thought was true for most marriages, or at least for ours. I was surprised (and relieved) at how quickly the other married couples agreed with me. I believe that most married couples struggle with this issue. So, let us ask ourselves: Do we have less sex than other married couples? And when does it become a problem?
If you’re married, it’s normal to wonder how often other couples have sex and whether you’re “doing it right.” It turns out, though, that there isn’t really a “normal” when it comes to married sex lives. A recent study found that married couples who have sex more than once a week are no happier than those who have sex less frequently. In fact, the study found that couples who have sex less than once a week are actually happier! So, if you’re wondering if you should be having more sex than you are, the answer is probably no. But if you are having less sex than you’d like, there are some things you can do to increase your libido and have a healthier sex life. Read on for some tips.
How Much Sex is Normal?
When it comes to married sex, there is no “normal” amount. Some couples have sex several times a week, while others only have it a few times a year. There are many factors that can affect how often you and your partner have sex, such as work schedules, childcare responsibilities, health issues, and libido.
If you’re concerned about your sex life, talk to your partner about it. It’s important to communicate openly and honestly about your needs and desires. If you’re still struggling to find time or energy for sex, there are plenty of other ways to show affection and intimacy (such as cuddling, kissing, or massages).
The perfect amount for your marriage is up to the couple. There is an average amount, but there is no such thing as “normal.” According to surveys, the average frequency of sex for married couples is a couple of times per month (once every seven to 10 days). That doesn’t mean it’s a number to strive for or use to judge your marriage. Marriages in which one partner believes they are not intimate enough are common and, at times, appear to be the overwhelming majority.
Finding a pattern that works for both of you is the key to a healthy married sex life.
The key to having a healthy sexual life in marriage is to find a frequency that works for both of you. It takes self-sacrifice to love one another. Investment fosters desire. Partners with low sex drive may need to initiate, even if they don’t want to. Interestingly, having sex on a regular basis increases testosterone levels, which increases desire. It’s like working out. The more you do it, the more you want to do it. Other partners, on the other hand, may have to give up their expectations and sexual desires. There must be a meeting somewhere in the middle. All of this boils down to communication and comprehension. Talk and listen to one another. Seek to know one another, serve one another, and love before being loved.
Reasons Why Married Couples Have Less Sex
There are many reasons why married couples have less sex. One reason may be that they have simply grown apart and no longer feel the same level of attraction to one another. Another possibility is that they are both working long hours and don’t have the energy for sex when they finally get home at night. It’s also possible that one or both partners is dealing with a health issue that makes sex difficult or painful.
It’s important to remember that there is no “normal” amount of sex for married couples to be having. Some couples are perfectly happy with once a week, while others may want it every day. As long as both partners are happy with the frequency of their sex life, there isn’t anything to worry about. However, if you’re not happy with how often you’re having sex, it’s important to talk to your partner about it. There may be something going on that you can address together.
The Effects of Having Less Sex
When it comes to sex, quality is always more important than quantity. But if you are finding that you and your partner are having sex less frequently than other married couples, it can be a cause for concern. There are a number of potential reasons why this might be the case.
It could be that one or both of you are dealing with a health issue that is impacting your libido or ability to have sex. It could also be that stress from work or other life commitments is taking a toll on your sex life. Or it might simply be that you’ve fallen into a bit of a rut and need to spice things up.
Whatever the reason, if you are concerned about the amount of sex you are having, it’s important to talk to your partner about it. Open communication is key in any relationship, and this is especially true when it comes to sex. By talking about the issue, you can figure out what might be causing the problem and brainstorm ways to solve it.
If you are having less sex than other married couples, don’t despair – there are ways to fix the problem. With open communication and a little effort, you can get your sexual relationship back on track.
What is the tipping point where it becomes an issue?
The problem happens when two people in a relationship start to tear at each other as individuals put their own needs ahead of the needs of the marriage. Having sex only once every few months could be a sign of deeper issues in a relationship. Those same surveys found that married people who had more sex also reported greater satisfaction in their relationships. What’s the correlation between sex and marital satisfaction? Do couples who report happier marriages also engage in more sex? Both are probably cooperating to achieve their goals. The level of happiness in a relationship increases when both partners are willing to prioritize the other’s needs over their own, both physically and emotionally.
Tips For Having More Sex
1. Talk about sex with your partner. Discuss what you both like and don’t like, what you’re both willing to try, and set some sexual goals.
2. Make time for sex. Even if you have a busy schedule, carve out some time each week to focus on your sex life.
3. Get rid of distractions. When you’re ready to get intimate, turn off the TV, put away your phones, and give your partner your full attention.
4. Set the mood. Create an environment that is conducive to sex, whether that means lighting some candles, putting on some music, or anything else that gets you in the mood.
5. Foreplay is key. Don’t just go straight for intercourse—take the time to enjoy all aspects of sexual activity with your partner.
6. Be present during sex. Once you start having intercourse, be fully present and focus on enjoying the experience with your partner instead of letting your mind wander elsewhere
Final Thoughts
If you’re having less sex than other married couples, it’s important to remember that there is no “normal” amount of sex to have. Every couple is different and what works for one might not work for another. Instead of comparing yourselves to others, focus on communicating with your partner about your needs and desires. By doing so, you can figure out what works best for both of you and make sure that your sexual relationship is satisfying for both of you.